Why Wi-Tribe is doomed to failure

Being on the Intartubes is pretty big deal in my line of work. I remember a time when I had to strictly limit my time online: connect to grab email from a POP3 server, disconnect, read and possibly reply to emails, then reconnect if there were any outgoing emails to be sent. I longed for a time when I can be constantly connected, when transferring gigabyte-sized files wasn't just a pipe dream.

Nowadays, I only think about my Internet connection when it's being flaky, or when it's (gasp!) down altogether.

Up until a few years ago, though, Internet connections with decent-enough speeds were limited to when you were in a place that can be reached through hardlines. Want to browse the Web while in the middle of a farm in (well, nowadays, not-so-) sleepy Malolos, Bulacan? If you existed in the Philippines in pre-2006 (near enough), tough luck.

Post-2006, and you've got more of a chance.

HSDPA devices proliferate in the country, being offered under mostly similar terms by three largest telcos (Smart, Globe and Sun). And they're mostly not half-bad; just don't expect to be able to transfer multi-gigabyte files without going bat-shit insane.

Earlier this year, a new contender in the wireless "broadband" competition emerged: Wi-Tribe.

Hold up—that doesn't seem right. Calling them a contender implies that I think they have a chance. Which they don't.

First off, they seem to confused as to what they are. They're offering a fixed-base wireless Internet connection, similar to what I know Globe offers. Except their service doesn't come with a phone line (nor do they offer one). Anyway, since it's a fixed-base connection (meaning, it requires AC power), that means no dice if you want to surf in the middle of that farm I mentioned earlier (plus, their base is bulky, to boot). Which is why I thought it was weird (and stupid, and even kind of funny) that the couple of salespeople I talked to tried to push their product on me as a replacement for my HSDPA connection.

The lack of a phone service isn't probably a big deal-breaker for most people, since you either already have a landline, or rely on mobile phones. But, then again, if you already have a landline, why go with Wi-Tribe? Hardline connections are more reliable, and are often faster in reality. The ones who usually go with wireless, fixed-base connections are those who live in areas that aren't serviceable by PLDT (the Philippine telco; like Ma Bell, except the Philippine government never got it through their heads that they should break it up).

Nor are their plans unlimited: they cap it at about 12 gigs per month, with some sort of promo that allows you to go up to 48 gigs, if you mostly use it during off-peak hours). If you go over, you pay them a bit more. Overages; they still make me cringe to this day. I guess I'm pretty far from the baseline, since I regularly eat up more than 50 gigs per month. But, still, offering capped plans in this day and age? Hey, Wi-Tribe: 1998 called, and they want their pricing scheme back.

Again, for those people, there are alternatives. And all of them don't have their transfers capped.

From where I'm sitting, it looks like the only ones who'd go for Wi-Tribe are those who are desperate to be on the Intarwebs, have been passed over by PLDT and Globe and/or Smart, aren't aware of the HSDPA plans available from Globe, Smart and Sun, and only ever go to Facebook to play games.

But here's the kicker. Here's where I really get pissed.

It's as if Wi-Tribe deliberately want geeks to fuck off.

Never mind the transfer cap, never mind the ignorant salespeople, never mind the convoluted pricing scheme.

They're either fucking liars, or are extremely stupid.

See, Wi-Tribe brands their service to be 4G. It's plastered all over their tents, their site, and every promotional copy of theirs I've come across. 4G. When, strictly speaking, they're not even fit to be called 3G. They're not lying "just a little bit", not fudging their numbers to attract customers. No, they're outright trying to fool the public by claiming to be 4-fucking-G, one fucking generation ahead of the competition, bitches.

Never mind how my HSDPA connection promises me a best-effort of 2mbit/s, while they only do fucking half.

Quick, you've got a product or a service; who do you rely on to spread the word? Early adopters. And when your product is tech-heavy? Who should you target first?

Geeks.

Geeks who read. Who know how to fucking use a fucking search engine to verify your claims. 4G?! Pshaw. I spit in the general direction of your transfer caps and barely 3G service.

No self-respecting geek would want to be seen with this thing. If I go into another geek's house and see that bulky Wi-Tribe base glowing ominously in a corner, I'll know that this is a faux geek, easily seduced by marketing speak.

No, thank you. I'll stick with the stupid "techs" over at PLDT (and their "engineers" who don't even know what the fuck pinging a server or doing a traceroute means); at least, when my connection works (which is about 99.9% of the time), it's great. I'll even stick with my Sun HSDPA connection, which I hardly use, and becomes flaky if the wind even so much as blows a little too strong or some shit. At least I knew what I got into, and I'm perfectly happy paying for it for the rare instances that I use it.

I will not participate in a scam of a product that, seems to me, deliberately flips the bird towards the people they should be courting.